Memories (CNF)

I wish I could say I’m one of those people with excellent memories, that remember each and every detail of everything they’ve seen or done. My memories are small, some insignificant, others important.

Like the day I felt my cheeks burn up, my arms go behind my back and I lowered my head, when I called my kindergarten teacher mom. I remember my stomach twist and twirl, my head spin and a burning thick liquid come up my throat. I remember walking into a 6^th graders classroom feeling uncomfortable and out of place when I was sent there to finish homework from the night before. I remember the confusion that crossed my face when I saw a puppy in my house, and the moment my godmother said he was for me, I jumped up and down with a huge smile across my face.

The day my world fell apart, like there was a hole in my chest burning through to the other side, but no tears would come the day my grandma died. The first day of high school seeing all new faces, just as confused and scared as me, walking past each other but ignoring the fact we’re all there. The moment of knowing you someone to talk to someone to trust someone to trust and the awkwardness of knowing you met them in a smelly sweaty locker room.

Or my favorite, the day I felt nothing could be better, nothing could go wrong again, the day I got the one thing that changed my family and the way I viewed the world, the day in walked into a strangers house and a young jolly little thing came up to me. And the moment the woman said do you want her? The day I got my Chiquita. Then the next year the most devastating, horrifying thing could happen. The moment I walked to the car after school got in and saw everyone crying. No one said a thing until we were far from school. I felt my heart stop, my world crash, my brain collapse. She was gone.

These are all my memories, my memories of the past, of what once was.